Bad Language and the Art of Conversation


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There was a time when kids had their mouths washed out with soap if they used swear words, and no women with any breeding would dare say anything more harsh than phooey. How times have changed.
Swearing seems to be chic nowadays. Even the most ladylike looking woman who wouldn't be caught dead scratching herself in public has no problem letting loose a string of cuss words that would make any sailor feel right at home. But how does using course language fit in when it comes to making good conversation?
Well, practitioners of the art of conversation might want to use swear words sparingly, if at all. Why? For one thing it sounds better. Listen to two people having a conversation that is full of bad language. How does it sound? Four letter words are harsh one-syllable words that tend to ruin the melodious flow of conversation and make your speech sound choppy, course and provocative. :-B
In addition, when you are meeting someone for the first time, what type of impression do you want to make? What comes out of your mouth says a lot about the type of person you are inside.
Also, English (like all other languages) is a vibrant and beautiful language full of hundreds of thousands of adverbs, adjectives, verbs and nouns. A well thought-out sentence filled with descriptive words drawn from a good vocabulary can be far more poignant and powerful than any sentence peppered with four letter words.
Give it a try. The next time someone makes you really angry, try telling him or her so without the use of any course language. You'll be amazed at how eloquent you can be.
On the other side of the coin, an explicative coming from someone who rarely uses them carries ten times more weight and emphasis than the same word spoken by someone who uses course language all the time.
Of course, how you choose to speak is up to you. However, if you want to master the art of conversation and make what you say palatable to all, and at the same time get the most impact out of what you say, you might want to use bad language sparingly, if at all.

By Eve Carmichael



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Remembering Names and The Art of Conversation

Has this ever happened to you? You are attending a party, a convention or some other event and you are introduced to several people that you would like to get to know, but seconds later, you find that you can't remember anyone’s name.
Even worse, have you ever started to introduce someone you've known for years and suddenly you can't remember his or her name? How embarrassing. What you are suffering from is the “meeting someone new jitters”.
What Causes the Jitters?

It’s only human nature to want to make a good impression on the people that we meet. No one wants to be laughed at, despised, or considered odd, so the first impression we make on people is very important. So, instead of concentrating on the names of the people we are being introduced to, we may be trying to put the perfect smile on our face, we may be attempting not to seem awkward when shaking hands, or perhaps nerves simply wipes our memory clean.
The same is true when we are the person making the introduction. We are the center of attention at that moment and for some of us that’s a lot of pressure. Nervousness can cause our memory to temporarily fail.
It Can Happen to Anyone.

First of all, don't let incidents like these discourage you. Even the most outgoing person who seems to have a PhD in making good conversation forgets a name or two from time to time. Since everyone has had the “meeting someone new jitters” at one time or the other, there’s no need to think you've made a bad impression just because you can't remember someone’s name, even if its your best friend’s.
How Do You Remember Names?

There are many techniques that you can use to remember someone’s name, but there are two of them that I find to be very effective, especially when used together.
I find that repeating the name of the person you've just been introduced to, causes it to stick in your memory. So when someone says, “This is my friend Bill.” I would reply, “Nice to meet you Bill.”
The second technique I use associates something about Bill’s appearance, either a prominent feature or an article of clothing, with his name. So if Bill happens to have an interestingly shaped nose, I would associate his name with it. Then, every time I look at Bill’s face, his nose would remind me of his name.
I Still Can't Remember. Now What?

To put it simply, just ask. Again, since we've all forgotten the name of someone we've just met, politely asking someone to repeat their name shouldn't present a problem. Simply say, “I'm sorry but I've met so many people here today that I'm not remembering any names. Please tell me what your name is again?”
And in the situation where you've forgotten the name of someone you know quite well, make a joke of it and move on.
Don't let meeting new people and the awkward situations that can arise cause you to miss out on the opportunity to have great conversations, and perhaps make a new friend. You can conquer the “meeting someone new jitters.” Remember to repeat back the name of the person you've been introduced to, and associate the name with the person’s appearance, and you will be able to handle meeting new people, and remembering their names, like a pro.
By Eve Carmichael


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